


Here I Dance

by MidnightFox73



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dreamtale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underlust, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Depression, Mental Health Issues, Nightmare (Dreamtale) - Freeform, References to Depression, Underlust Sans (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24148255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightFox73/pseuds/MidnightFox73
Summary: Blue tries to help Lust with his depression. It doesn't go according to plan.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Here I Dance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kamari333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamari333/gifts).



> Listening to Dance with the Devil by Breaking Benjamin made me think of Kamari333's Nightmare from her Dr33mtale and I was immediately inspired to write this.

He wasn’t entirely sure how he got here. How things got so out of hand. It was meant to be a simple task. He was only trying to help his friend and now... now.

Now this...

He was in a place that didn’t want him there alone without any... friends?

Blue rubbed at his sternum trying to soothe the aching in his soul as he waited for the spell to activate that would take him to Dream’s castle. The Guardian and Spirit of Positivity’s home had been their end destination all night, well until the end.

His mind was still questioning as to how they had ended up at Nightmare’s castle instead. Had he recited the spell incorrectly when he had done it back in Lust’s world? Blue doubted it, he knew that little chant better than anything plus he was very certain that he would only be able to forget it if Dream wanted him to.

Perhaps it was due to Lust’s overwhelming feelings of negativity? It seemed reasonable that such strong negative feelings would confuse the spell in some way sending them to the castle of negativity as a result.

Maybe Nightmare himself had a hand in them arriving at his home. That made more sense the Guardian and Spirit of Negativity attracted and sought out negative emotions and Lust had been in very bad state when he arrived to get him earlier that night.

The rift opened with a faint glow as though light was filtering out from around the edges of a closed door. Its soft illumination was the only way to tell it was there. It was after all a subtle yet powerful magic. He didn’t need to question if another mishap would occur if he stepped through Blue knew without a doubt that this one did indeed lead to Dream’s home.

\--

Lust took no notice as a soft light lit up the darkness of the living room. His unblinking gaze never wavered as someone appeared nearby.

“Hey.” A voice he recognised greeted softly as though speaking too loud would startle him. He felt curious enough to look at the speaker so he did.

“Blue?” Lust was only partially surprised that his own voice was so quiet but then he couldn’t remember the last time he had said anything. It must have been days by this point surely. Not that he even cared to really be counting.

“Are you interested in the offer now?” Blue asked still speaking in that soft and gentle tone. It took Lust a moment to realise that there was sorrow in his friend’s voice. Had things really gotten that bad?

Yes. A part of his mind readily supplied. It came from the part that still urged him to try and do stuff, the part of him that was screaming out for help albeit more on a mental plain than an audible one these days.

Lust blinked as the question sunk in his mind working overtime to collect his thoughts and drag them out of the darkness that had otherwise consumed him. Everything turned up blank as though the ink had seeped off the pages to feed the void.

He looked at Blue apology forming on his tongue only to lose the words as he saw how his friend’s smile had fallen by the tiniest of fractions. Disappointment easily flooded through him. Interesting that he could still feel emotions Lust had honestly thought those were long gone.

“Sorry.” Lust sighed pushing himself into a fully sitting position. “It’s been...” he paused as he tried to calculate how long it had been since Blue’s last visit. He didn’t remember that either. “Long.” He finished lamely his head falling in defeat, what was the point in pretending Blue would know if he was and he couldn’t do that to him.

Lust heard as Blue closed the distance between them, felt the softer warmth of the other as he sat beside him. A part of him knew that it was closer than anyone from another world would normally sit when next to him but right now feeling someone against him was both comforting and painful.

It was comforting knowing that Blue was still here for him that he wasn’t giving up. The touch was painful because it agitated the fire in his body, a harsh reminder that he had a condition that could easily turn fatal when not treated.

For the first time in what felt like forever he pushed the darker thoughts aside and took comfort in feeling his friend sit beside him. His head fell tiredly onto Blue’s shoulder with a sigh.

“Dream’s offering you a place to stay at his home.” It was obvious to Lust that Blue wasn’t even trying to mask the pleading hopefulness in his voice. “Are you interested?”

A part of Lust knew there had been reasons for declining in the past but right now he couldn’t think of a single one. He couldn’t really feel his emotions right now, even the negative ones were being lost to the darkness and those were the most stubborn. So did any of it really matter?

The part of him the begged for help was screaming in earnest now despite it still not sounding louder than a gentle breeze. A part of him longed to feel something, anything at this point.

“When do we leave?” His own tired voice filled the silence briefly.

Blue was grinning in earnest. “Right now!” He was on his feet faster than Lust could blink but then he hadn’t been blinking recently either.

As Lust pushed himself onto his feet for the first time in whenever, he watched as Blue made a series of hand gestures while uttering a strange chant. A frame of light appeared once more in the room.

“Okay so I’m going to need you to hold on really tight as we step through. It’s best we avoid stepping into any void or anti-void dimensions for now.” Blue was still grinning at him as he offered his hand.

Again Lust felt the pleasantness and pain of physical contact as he held Blue’s hand. Just as the stepped through the strange rift Lust felt his soul thrash painfully in his chest. The pain, fear and endless sorrow that rushed at him as he left behind his home caused him to stagger and choke back a mournful sob. Broken memories tried to resurface but he pushed them away, if he went back now he would never leave.

One moment they were in his dark lifeless living room the next they were on the steps of a giant castle. Lust didn’t need the oppressive feelings of negativity in the air to tell him where he was. The darker than darkness stones in front of him told him just fine though the purple and black banners featuring the symbol of castle’s creator main resident didn’t hurt either.

“Whoops wrong castle.” Blue chuckled nervously. “If we hurry we can leave before anyone sees-” He had spun them around to descend the stairs only to come face to face with Dust. Blue flinched harshly from the close proximity while Lust stared blankly at the monster before them.

“The entrance is behind you.” Dust grinned, his red and dual eye gleaming in the dim light. “It’s an offense to enter someone’s home and not say hello. Wouldn’t you agree?” His grin got sharper and eyes shrank as he looked directly at Blue. “Though, he might make an exception for you.” He growled left eye flashing purple.

“After you.” Blue gestured to the entrance. With a smile and a shrug Dust set off silently up the rest of the stairs. “Stay close to me.” Blue whispered to Lust.

Lust merely nodded though he did attempt to offer Blue some comfort by squeezing his hand. He could feel his friend shaking and while Lust remained emotionally unaffected he did at least try to be comforting. His soul hadn’t completely given up after all.

The expensive and lavishness of the party being held in Nightmare’s castle was such a contrast to everything Lust knew about the guardian that he felt genuine surprise for a moment. Who knew Nightmare could host such a regal looking event.

“Okay, so here are the rules.” Blue inhaled sharply. “We’re in Nightmare’s home which means if we want to leave we need to pass a test of sorts.”

A memory flicked through Lust’s mind, of him and Blue arguing about Dream’s rules. How if he failed Dream’s test he would be stuck there possibly forever no matter what. Dream and Nightmare were both beings of immense power and while one was seen as all good and the other all bad, they were both dangerous and they were both guilty of tricking people into serving them.

There were more rules, more things he hadn’t liked the sound of but the fluttered away back into the darkness of his mind as Blue shook his shoulder regaining his attention.

“Are you-” Blue stopped himself from finishing his sentence as a sad look crossed his face.

No, Lust wasn’t okay, that was the whole point of this. Lust said nothing however and waited for Blue to finish speaking.

“So, the original test was a maze of some kind from what I could tell from information we had gathered.” Blue’s next sentence was cut off by the appearance of Horror.

“No maze tonight.” The grin he gave them was a mix of sincere and unsettling. Lust couldn’t help but noticed that the larger monster was dressed neatly. Gone was the stained shirt and tattered hoodie instead he wore a clean shirt and dark jacket.

Lust briefly wondered if his body was truly getting desperate or if his appreciation at seeing Horror in semi formal clothing was actually genuine.

“The test is different tonight.” Horror shrugged. “Shame really, I enjoyed chasing people through the maze.”

“What’s the test?” Lust asked surprising even himself.

Horror looked curiously at him. “Hurt yer throat?” Lust wasn’t sure if that glint in his eye was sympathy or sadistic glee.

“No.” He replied a spark of pride appeared to congratulate him on speaking a single word loud and clearly enough that it didn’t require a megaphone to be heard. Of course that spark of pride had also dived back into the darkness with the speed of a fired bullet but hey at least it had appeared at all.

With a hum Horror turned his attention to the room. “Gotta dance with Nightmare.”

“That’s it?” Blue asked incredulously.

Horror’s grin turned malicious. “Not allowed to look him in the eyes.”

Blue raised a speculative brow. “That not hard.” He shuddered as Horror chuckled darkly.

“Well you’re gonna have to give it a try or get out.” His eye light shrank to the size of a pin prick. “Yer not welcome here.” Horror looked directly at Lust his eye widened for a moment at the lack of fear he was causing in the other. It passed quickly. “You however have to take the challenge.” Grin firmly back in place he left the pair in the entryway.

“Well this won’t be hard.” Blue smiled genuinely for the first time since they had arrived. “It’s always best to avoid Nightmare’s gaze so dancing with him shouldn’t be a problem. It won’t be pleasant but not a problem.”

But these challenges were always difficult wasn’t that the point? Lust’s mind supplied. There would be more going on here than just a dance and avoiding eye contact. He took a moment to look about the room for the monster in question. The shock of feeling such a strong sense of surprise had him stumbling back.

Nightmare, Guardian and Spirit of Negativity wasn’t covered in his iconic black gloop. He looked so much like Dream, twins or not it was actually very unsettling. What was worse however was now that he had seen him Lust didn’t want to look away.

Dream had a way of captivating people. He was a ray of sunshine, bright and cheerful always eager to bring a smile to someone’s face. He was a being worshipped by many as a god, a god of light and good. Mortals were never meant to gaze upon him. God or not there was something unnatural about that light he gave off, the way his wings glimmered.

It wasn’t Blue who had offered the warnings why would he, he was one of Dream’s followers, heck he prided himself on being Dream’s right hand man. No the memory and its warnings were from Stretch, he knew and he tried to warn as many as possible.

The golden rays in his memory faded as the present took hold. Blue was watching him concerned.

“We can get through this.” Blue smiled though it wasn’t as hopeful as before. Had something happened? “I believe in you.”

Lust felt a spark of hope at hearing the sincerity in Blue’s voice as he smiled proudly at him.

“Good evening.” Nightmare’s silent approach startled Blue making him squeak in fear. Lust however found himself laughing.

For a moment the darkness was gone and Lust felt as though he could breathe again, only he couldn’t because he was too busy laughing so hard. He didn’t notice Blue’s worried gaze or Nightmare’s curious one as he clutched his ribs while doubled over in laughter.

“And might I inquire as to what is so amusing?” Nightmare hummed but Lust only laughed harder.

“Y-” He attempted to steady his breathing only to giggle. “You sound so...” Lust attempted to muffle the laughter behind his hand. “So old and regal.” He giggled. “Like some kind of dark vampire lord.” He couldn’t stop laughing.

“Indeed.” Nightmare sighed before turning away. “When you’re ready to take the challenge I will be on the dance floor.” He glanced briefly at Blue who avoided eye contact but was still courteous enough to look at the rest of him if somewhat fleetingly. “You can stay but only if you’re taking the challenge otherwise,” a rift opened up next to them. “Leave.” He growled.

“I’ll stay.” Blue stood firm, “I’ll take you’re challenge but only because I’m staying to support Lust in his.” Nightmare said nothing but nodded before closing the rift and headed back out onto the dance floor.

As Nightmare retreated Lust felt the laughter subside and though the darkness was creeping back in he had actually retrained a firmer grasp on his emotions. They hadn’t simply vanished as they usually did but he could feel that they were slipping.

“We can do this.” Blue grinned at Lust grasping his friend on the shoulder. “I believe in us.”

\--

Blue adjusted his bandanna and set his shoulders. He could do this. He was the Magnificent Sans.

It was easy spotting Nightmare out on the dance floor as he weaved through the groups and dancers. The task surely couldn’t be that hard. All he had to do was dance with Nightmare and not look at him in the eyes.

If it was indeed so easy then why was he nervous?

Blue glanced at Lust who stood beside him. It hurt to see those normally bright amethyst eyes so pale and lifeless. Lilac was a nice colour but it didn’t suit Lust, not in his eyes.

He admitted it, he was nervous for his friend. Lust was dealing with serious issues at the moment and needed help it was why he was so infuriated that they were here instead of at Dream’s. Dream could help Lust he was certain of it.

Unfortunately Lust was overflowing with negativity which meant he was in the most ideal mindset to be manipulated by the dark guardian.

Dream couldn’t save them from this, they were on their own.

Sure Blue himself didn’t have to take the challenge he could leave as soon as he wanted. The only problem was that he would be leaving his friend behind and he couldn’t do that. Perhaps if he showed Lust how easy the task was he would have no trouble completing it?

“I’ll go first.” Blue smiled as reassuringly as possible to the other. They could get through this. They had to. He crushed down the ache at seeing those lilac eyelights look at him. Lust merely nodded.

With a steadying sigh Blue walked out onto into the room directly towards Nightmare. The crowd parted around him glaring and sneering. They didn’t want him here and he didn’t want to be here.

He only glanced at Nightmare’s offered hand before taking it and giving a polite bow.

Music came alive as he was lead across the floor easily following the guardians movements. Blue was surprised that it was the same dance that Dream had taught him years ago, though it felt wrong to be dancing it with his dear friend’s twin.

They spun around and around and around, so much so Blue was actually getting nauseous, clearly Dream was the better dancer of the two. At least dancing with Dream was actually fun.

The dance couldn’t come to an end soon enough but with a final bow it did just that.

“You were always going to pass.” Nightmare smiled. “You’re loyal to my brother after all even when we look exactly alike all you can see is him.” His gripped Blue chin and forced him to make direct eye contact. “You should say your goodbyes now because Lust is not leaving with you.”

“You’re wrong.” Blue growled back even though his soul beat uncertainly.

“We shall see.” Nightmare sighed letting go of Blue’s face. “He’s in a lot of pain after all.”

“Being here won’t help him.” Blue glared. “He knows that.”

Nightmare laughed his grin widening. “If that was true then tell me this. When was the last time you saw him smile honestly, or laugh so purely?” The guardian shook his head. “A word of advice. Get rid of your delusions before they actually hurt someone.” With that Nightmare moved away.

Blue quickly made his way back to Lust careful not to look at his friends eyes for too long.

“See it was easy.” He grinned. Hopefully the confidence in his voice masked his frayed nerves. “Just a simple dance and we’ll both be out of here in no time.” He was proud at repressing the shudder that ran through his bones and Lust turned his cold lifeless gaze upon him.

“I-” Lust sighed his gaze falling to the floor the lilac was so pale Blue was almost certain Lust’s eyes were white. Instead of finishing his sentence Lust walked out onto the floor and Blue noted with mild annoyance that the sea of monsters weren’t actively trying to scare Lust away.

“Just hold on a little longer Lust.” Blue muttered to himself. “We can get through this.”

\--

It was like a chant stuck on repeat in his mind. Don’t look him in the eyes.

When he had stood alone Lust had been very certain that the darkness would begin to seep back in, that he wouldn’t even notice what was happening around him without someone to help keep him grounded. Instead he was momentarily relieved that he was able to watch Blue and Nightmare dance without any problems.

His mind didn’t go blank, his vision remained focused and he was there aware in that moment. It was the closest he had felt to being alive in...

Details and dates aren’t important anyways.

He made it without a problem to Nightmare’s side not that he was expecting anyone to start something nor did he care but it good to know that he was alert enough to notice such things.

Lust bowed as Nightmare did and upon taking the others hand he was swept off and around the room. His hand felt oddly numb and in pain from holding Nightmare’s hand. It felt like the guardians very touch was comprised of a thousand tiny needles.

He could feel his joints ache from the lack of movement and from the burning temperature of his magic. If Nightmare minded the heat however he didn’t make it obvious. Not that Lust was looking at the other’s face to be able to tell.

Don’t look.

It was all he had to do. Then he could go with Blue to Dream’s, to Dream’s home where he would have to undergo another test just to see if he would be allowed to leave the other guardian’s domain. Emotions flickered in the depth of his soul for a brief moment everything was clear.

He could beat this test.

The only question was did he want to?

Lust’s mind clicked as he realised that Nightmare wasn’t making any grand speeches, he wasn’t saying anything to convince him to stay. They were just dancing. His body and magic ached something fierce but otherwise it was a pleasant dance.

Music continued to play and the room continued to spin. Lust was very certain he had been dancing for longer than Blue had been but he couldn’t find a reason to care. His weak grasp on his emotions allowed him to care, if only a little and yet he didn’t mind at all.

Nightmare still didn’t say a word and Lust didn’t feel like talking, that was still a lot of effort.

More than once he had spotted Blue watching from the side, a part of him was sad to see him standing all alone appearing out of place. Blue had been a loyal friend these past however long and Lust was grateful to him for that. He had kept him going through the worst of the darkness, he couldn’t ask for a better friend.

It was why looking at him hurt, because each time he would see the sadness in those bright blue eyes and Lust would feel bad. Even now he caught glimpses of that brilliant smile being strained so as to not reveal that it was slipping.

Truth told Lust had made his mind up ages ago regarding the Guardians of Emotions. He couldn’t recall the memory on how and why he decided what he did. He only knew the result. That if he was ever to choose between Dream and Nightmare.

Nightmare would win every time. It partly bothered him that he couldn’t remember maybe he would eventually but it didn’t matter.

Lust was faced with a decision and he had made it.

He glanced again at Blue purposefully catching the other’s gaze and giving a sincere smile. His silent utter of goodbye caused Blue to looked panicked and Lust felt his soul ache.

Instead he straightened his pose and stood to his full height. If he was going to do this then he was at least going to pretend he had some form of actual self worth even for just a moment.

His hand and hip sparked as Nightmare adjusted his grip.

With a soft exhale and a steady soul Lust looked Nightmare in the eyes. The deep purple was mesmerising and just a couple of shades darker than Lust’s own eyes or at least what his eyes used to be.

Maybe one day he would find Blue and talk to him about what happened but for now. In this moment, he was happy dancing with one of the most feared monsters in existence.


End file.
